I've read this one. Re-post. To all those gals who used to be his "number one."

Here's to all those girls who used to be his number one.

The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check your cell phone the next morning and be disappointed. The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, and moved on with your life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened. Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going. The ones who listened to him say, "I only want to be your friend", one day, then listened to him say that he loves and misses you, and the next when he doesn't want to be anything at all. Here's to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change.

We listened to our friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, got crap from our parents, and even snuck around to see him even for a while. We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking it would be just friends, and ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us.

Here's to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days. Here's for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn't possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us. We learned to SETTLE for someone who didn't treat us the way we should be treated.

Here's for the ones who did their hair and make up and put on their prettiest everything, only to hear him say that he couldn't see us today. The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn't believe that he could do this to us again.

This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say, and took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn't bear to look back on their lives one day and wonder "what if".

This is for the girls that stayed up all night long listening to him whine about an ex girlfriend who cheated on him, and cried during the entire conversation. The ones who hoped he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved us. When he said that he loved you, but he was in love with her, he didn't mean it. This is for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with.

This is for us girls, who somehow managed to get him to forget about her, and get him to tell us that he was in love with us again, only to have him tell us three weeks later that "You're just not the one for me." or maybe, "things were going too fast, I'm just not ready." (Then later on find out he has a damn girlfriend already.)

Here's to the girls who couldn't cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt.
The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again. This is for the ones who couldn't bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an "I told you so."

The ones that could just TELL that they had made a mistake ever allowing him into their hearts, their beds, and their dreams again.

We knew that we deserved better the entire time, that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us when ever he got the chance, one that would really care about us. We just wanted the one that we loved like that.

Here's for the ones that FINALLY realized that he never gave one thought about them.
Here's for the time that he took to waste, breaking your heart ... again.

This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, and the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment.

Here's for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better.

This is for those confusing days, when you miss him,and want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist.

Stay strong, and remember that relationships are like broken glass,sometimes it's better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together and get hurt all over again.

Remember the times you cried, and how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that.

When your song comes on the radio, turn the station.
When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made and tries calling, turn your phone off.
When he tries coming to your house, don't answer the door.

Think of all the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation and the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the HELL he was.

Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night, and how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn't him, and realized that once again, he hadn't called when he said he was going to.

One day, you'll find a guy who's worth all the tears, but he won't make you cry. You may think that you'll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will.

It's gonna hurt like hell, and it's going to need time to heal, but the point is, it will heal.

* Ang sad no? Copied from Mariel again. Nakooo.. XD

tribute to the nice girls

To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be that they are doing something wrong.

For the girls who understand that they aren't perfect and that the guys they're interested in aren't either, for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe... maybe this time he'll have understood.

Homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who care more than they should for guys who don't deserve their attention.

For the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the trite words of advice, from "there are plenty of fish in the sea," to "time heals all wounds."

This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, who are seeking to find it.

This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint only to watch him chase after another girl.

This is for the girls who have been told that they're too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend.

This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart, only to discover that he's just not ready, he's just not over her, he's just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it's easier to believe that it's not that they don't want you, it's that they don't want anyone.

This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech.

For the night his dog died and you held him, thinking that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, then perhaps he'd realize what it was that he already had.

For the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep.

Men complain that girls play mind games, that girls love to keep them hanging. Therein lies the truth, guys: nice girls are everywhere.

So don't say you're on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. Sometimes we go undercover; Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they're running, they're chasing after the whores and the sluts and the easy-targets... the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towels and a congratulatory hug (and yes, if she's a nice girl and she likes you, the sweatiness probably won't matter), hoping against hope that maybe you'll realize that they're the ones that you want at the end of that silly race.

So maybe it won't last forever. Maybe some of those guys in that race will turn in their running shoes and make their way to the concession stand where we're waiting; however, until that happens, we still have each other, that silly race to watch, and all the chocolate we can eat (because what's a concession stand at a race without some chocolate?)

But hurry. Sometimes the nice girl gets sick of waiting.

* I had to search for this one. Here you go, Roseanne.
Copied from Mariel again.

a tribute to the nice guys

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disapproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know that most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid–back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology, to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where rules favor cheats, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandons, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all okay and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and help her concoct a counter–rumor to spread around the floor. This is for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “Oh, but we’re JUST friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed and what I have learned from talking to friends and my own experiences, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, confusing things such as “Oh, he’s TOO nice to date!” or “He would be a good boyfriend but he’s NOT for me!” or “He already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “No, it would RUIN our friendship!” Yet, women continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too–nice–to–date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say and what they do. But one thing I can do is say that nice–guy–finishes–last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, insane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Two Psych tests.. LUBEL!!! T.T

Personality Disorder Test Results Paranoid |||||||||||||||||||| 82% Schizoid |||||||||||||||| 70% Schizotypal |||||||||||||||| 66% Antisocial |||||||||||||||| 62% Borderline |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Histrionic |||||||||||||||||| 74% Narcissistic |||||| 30% Avoidant |||||||||||||||| 62% Dependent |||||||||||||||| 62% Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||||| 58%

Take Free Personality Disorder Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	High
Schizoid:	High
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Very High
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Information --

Soon to be Plato's biatch. I want Freud.

Sensation is not the tool of knowledge. Plato said that. Although knowledge is attainable, real knowledge is the knowledge of "form" = Truth.

Question: What is reality composed of? (What makes a thing the kind of thing of it is?)
Answer: "The Forms"

The Forms:
- different
- eternal
- independent
- highest form of the good
- knowledge of them is the highest
- models
- things participate
- source of reality

And then my teacher explained each characteristic. X_x

And then.. Poof. Why oh why. Switching to another lesson. >.<

Now I'm thinking of bacterial algorithm. x.x I won't type everything ha.

Is it obligate intracellular?
Yes? -> Rickettsia, Chlamydia
No?.. Okay then. Does it have a cell wall? If not, then you have a Mycoplasma.
If it has a cell wall, Is it spiral-shaped? Yes? Then perhaps, Treponema yan. Or Borrelia or Leptospira.

Not spiral-shaped?.. Okay. Bacilli?
Yes?.. Okay. Then. Gram positive or Gram negative?
If Gram positive, aerobic or anaerobic?

If anaerobic, it's Clostridium.
If aerobic, Bacillus, Listeria, or Erysipelothrix.

So aerobic, right? Does it produce spores?

Yes? Then you have Bacillus.
No? Then it's Listeria/ErysipelothrixCorynebacteria/Lactobacillus.

Lol. Haven't memorized the cocci part and Gram negative bacillus.

This is so fun :D

let's see who'd reply to this.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF:

1. I died

2. I kissed you:

3. I lived next door to you:

4. I started smoking:

5. I stole something:

6. I was hospitalized:

7. I ran away from home:

8. I got into a fight and you weren't there?



WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:

9. Personality:

10. Eyes:

11. Hair:

12. Family:



WOULD YOU:

13. Be my friend?

14. Keep a secret if I told you one?

15. Hold my hand?

16. Take a bullet for me?

17. Keep in touch?

18. Try and solve my problems?

19. Love me?

20. Date me?

21. Sing with me?



HAVE YOU EVER:

22. Lied to make me feel better?

23. Wanted to kiss me?

24. Wanted to kill me?

25. Broke my heart?

26. Kept something important from me?

27. Thought I was unbearably annoying?



MORE:

28. Who are you?

29. Are we friends?

30. When and how did we meet?

31. Describe me in one word:

32. What was your first impression?

33. Do you still think that way about me now?

34. What reminds you of me?

35. If you could give me anything what would it be?

36. How well do you know me?

37. When's the last time you saw me?

38. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

39. Are you gonna put this on yours to see what I say about you?

40. Really?

tagged by my soul sistah. naks. =P

RULES :

A. People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves. Tag 8 people. Those who are tagged cannot refuse.

B. These 8 people must state who they were tagged by. You cannot tag the person who tagged you. Continue this game by sending this to 8 other people.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. When did you last cry?

Few hours ago.

2. What will you do if you do not share the same feelings as the person who likes you?

I'm not so good with things like this. I end up running away. 0.o

3. What's the first thing you take note of in a person?

I agree with Champepang. I look at deh face, mehn. I like guessing a person's attitude. 0.o

4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?

Maybe? 0.o

5. What's your ideal lover like?

*see Jes's notebook* xD -> copy-paste sagot ni Cham. Ahahahaha! :))

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone else?

Aw.. Being loved siguro.

7. If the person you like does not accept you, would you continue to wait for them to change their feelings?

I will not wait. Whatta waste of time. 0.o

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?

Iyak nalang oh. Hahaha. Add RH and friends!

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy recently?

Dad. Haha.

10. What do you want most in life?

I want my own place. I want grad school or med school. 0.o

11. Is being tagged fun?

Okay lang. 0.o

12. Random thought?

ETAR is trash.

13. Who is currently the most important person to you?

Mi madre y mi muhn.. XD

14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

Mapanghi. Joke lang. :)) Ano. Mukhang bampira. I dunno how to describe her. One thing I can say is that she is very loving. Ehem. 0.o

15. Would you rather have a rich husband or someone who's not, but responsible?

Aw. Someone who's not. but responsible.

16. If the person you secretly like cannot recognize you, what would you do/how would you react?

Oh. All right. T.T Friendster nalang. Hahaha

17. Would you give your all in a relationship?

Hmmmaybe.

18. If you fall in love with two persons simultaneously, who would you pick?

The person who will not fail to make me happy. 0.o

19. What type of friends do you like?

The type of friends that I have.

20. If the person who tagged you was a dog, and he/she followed you home, would you ask your mom if you could keep him/her?

Hahahaha. Yeah. "Mommy can I keep her? I want to name her Peps." Then Chai will come along. "Chai, meet Peps." Ahahahaha :))

I tag eight people. Hahahahaha!

etar? basura.

P250 for a trashy book. what a freaking waste.

an hour and a half, twice a week. with her.

my goodness. you must be killing me.

i hate the teacher. i swear. she sucks. the book sucks too.

she thinks she's so great. she's good with words but overall, she sucks.

why would you ask a student why the Philippines uses mixed economic system? haha. ano pake namin diyan. the authorities decide on things, we dont.

she thinks she fits in the college of science. haha. in yer face, woman. you wouldnt wanna know what my classmates call you.

yeah, i hate you. we all do.

google game :)

1) Type in "[your name] needs" in Google search:

- Lauren needs attention. - Hahahaha. XD

2) Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search:

- Lauren looks like Buffy. - Well.. 0.o

3) Type in "[your name] likes" in Google search:
- Lauren likes it rough. - ROFL. :))

4) Type in "[your name] says" in Google search:

- Lauren says Shaq is better than Kobe.. another one is
Lauren says bye. - 0.o

5) Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search:

- Lauren wants to help someone. - That's why I joined UNICEF. ^^

6) Type in "[your name] does" in Google search:

- Lauren does not do voices. - Hm.. Got me thinking.

7) Type in "[your name] hates" Google search:

- Lauren hates the web these days. - Not really. Hahaha.

8) Type in "[your name] goes" Google search:

- Lauren goes clubbin'. - Lol. No time for this.

9) Type in "[your name] loves" in Google search:

- Lauren loves ducks on Flickr. - Hmm.. Might as well check 'em out.

10) Type in"[your name] is" in Google search:

- Lauren is not such a good girl. - ROFL XDXDXD


hmm..
I tag Cham, Jessa, Lubel, Roxanne, Roseanne, Patrick, Vinci, Fleur. I tag everyone who views this.

this is true. ^^

Your Birthdate: November 29

You have the mind of an artist, even if you haven't developed the talent yet. Expressive and aware, you enjoy finding new ways to share your feelings. You often feel like you don't fit in - especially in traditional environments. You have big dreams. The problem is putting those dreams into action. Your strength: Your vivid imagination Your weakness: Fear of failure Your power color: Coral Your power symbol: Oval Your power month: November

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

lol. XP

29 November 1988

Your date of conception was on or about 8 March 1988 which was a Tuesday.

You were born on a Tuesday
under the astrological sign Sagittarius.
Your Life path number is 3.

Your fortune cookie reads:
Grand adventures await those who are willing to turn the corner.

Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 3, 6 & 9.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 2, 5 & 11.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 4, 7, 8 & 22.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2447494.5.
The golden number for 1988 is 13.
The epact number for 1988 is 11.
The year 1988 was a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/17/1988 and ending 2/5/1989.
You were born in the Chinese Year of the Dragon.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Owl; your plant is Mistletoe.

You were born in the Egyptian month of Menchir, the second month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).

Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 20 Kislev 5749.
Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 21 Kislev 5749.

The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.18.15.10.10 which is
12 baktun 18 katun 15 tun 10 uinal 10 kin

The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Tuesday, 19 Rabi'u'th-Thani 1409 (1409-4-19).

The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 3 April 1988.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 10 April 1988.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 17 February 1988.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 22 May 1988.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 29 May 1988.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Monday, 12 September 1988.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Saturday, 2 April 1988.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 16 February 1988.

As of 6/29/2008 1:06:38 AM EDT
You are 19 years old.
You are 235 months old.
You are 1,022 weeks old.
You are 7,152 days old.
You are 171,649 hours old.
You are 10,298,946 minutes old.
You are 617,936,798 seconds old.

Celebrities who share your birthday:

Jon Knight (1968)	Kim Delaney (1961)	Cathy Moriarty (1960)
Jeff Fahey (1956)	Howie Mandel (1955)	Garry Shandling (1949)
Chuck Mangione (1940)	Peter Bergman (1939)	John Mayall (1933)
Diane Ladd (1932)	Vin Scully (1927)	Madeline L'Engle (1918)
Adam Clayton Powell, Jr. (1908)	C.S. Lewis (1898)	Busby Berkeley (1895)
Louisa May Alcott (1832)

Top songs of 1988

Roll with It by Steve Winwood	Every Rose Has Its Thorn by Poison
One More Try by George Michael	Look Away by Chicago
Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley	Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns N' Roses
Anything for You by Gloria Estefan & Miami Sound Machine	Get Outta My Dreams, Get into My Car by Billy Ocean
Man In the Mirror by Michael Jackson	The Flame by Cheap Trick

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 2.79921722113503 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for you!)

Your lucky day is Thursday.
Your lucky number is 3.
Your ruling planet(s) is Jupiter & Neptune.
Your lucky dates are 3rd, 12th, 21st, 30th.
Your opposition sign is Gemini.
Your opposition number(s) is 5.

Today is not one of your lucky days!

There are 153 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 20 candles.

Those 20 candles produce 20 BTUs,
or 5,040 calories of heat (that's only 5.0400 food Calories!) .
You can boil 2.29 US ounces of water with that many candles.

In 1988 there were approximately 3.7 million births in the US.
In 1988 the US population was approximately 226,545,805 people, 64.0 persons per square mile.
In 1988 in the US there were 2,389,000 marriages (9.7%) and 1,183,000 divorces (4.8%)
In 1988 in the US there were approximately 1,990,000 deaths (8.8 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.

In 1988 the population of Australia was approximately 16,687,082.
In 1988 there were approximately 246,193 births in Australia.
In 1988 in Australia there were approximately 116,816 marriages and 41,007 divorces.
In 1988 in Australia there were approximately 119,866 deaths.


Your birthstone is Citrine

The Mystical properties of Citrine

Citrine is said to help one connect with Spirit.

Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Yellow Topaz, Pearl, Diamond

Your birth tree is

Ash Tree, the Ambition

Uncommonly attractive, vivacious, impulsive, demanding, does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent, talented, likes to play with its fate, can be egoistic, very reliable and trustworthy, faithful and prudent lover, sometimes brains rule over heart, but takes partnership very serious.

There are 179 days till Christmas 2008!
There are 192 days till Orthodox Christmas!

The moon's phase on the day you were
born was waning gibbous.

I'm flatte...ned. XD

Analytical Thinker (AT)

(Just visiting? Take the free test and determine your personality type!)

Analytical Thinkers are reserved, quiet persons. They like to get to the bottom of things - curiosity is one of their strongest motives. They want to know what holds the world together deep down inside. They do not really need much more to be happy because they are modest persons. Many mathematicians, philosophers and scientists belong to this type. Analytical Thinkers loathe contradictions and illogicalness; with their sharp intellect, they quickly and comprehensively grasp patterns, principles and structures. They are particularly interested in the fundamental nature of things and theoretical findings; for them, it is not necessarily a question of translating these into practical acts or in sharing their considerations with others. Analytical Thinkers like to work alone; their ability to concentrate is more marked than that of all other personality types. They are open for and interested in new information.

Analytical Thinkers have little interest in everyday concerns - they are always a little like an “absent-minded professor” whose home and workplace are chaotic and who only concerns himself with banalities such as bodily needs when it becomes absolutely unavoidable. The acknowledgement of their work by others does not play a great role for them; in general,they are quite independent of social relationships and very self-reliant. Analytical Thinkers therefore often give others the impression that they are arrogant or snobby - especially because they do not hesitate to speak their mind with their often harsh (even if justified) criticism and their imperturbable self-confidence. Incompetent contemporaries do not have it easy with them. But whoever succeeds in winning their respect and interest has a witty and very intelligent person to talk to. A partner who amazes one with his excellent powers of observation and his very dry humour.

It takes some time before Analytical Thinkers make friends, but then they are mostly friends for life. They only need very few people around them. Their most important ability is to be a match for them and thus give them inspiration. Constant social obligations quickly get on their nerves; they need a lot of time alone and often withdraw from others. Their partner must respect this and understand that this is not due to the lack of affection. Once they have decided in favour of a person, Analytical Thinkers are loyal and reliable partners. However, one cannot expect romance and effusive expressions of feelings from them and they will definitely forget their wedding anniversary. But they are always up to a night spent with stimulating discussions and a good glass of wine!

Adjectives which describe your type

introverted, theoretical, logical, spontaneous, rational, analytical, intellectual, sceptical, pensive, critical, quiet, precise, independent, creative, inventive, abstract, eccentric, curious, reserved, self-involved, imaginative, unsociable, determined, modest, careful, incommunicative, witty

These subjects could interest you

literature, science fiction, philosophy, psychology, mathematics, Internet, drawing/painting, astrology, spiritual things, meditation, music, writing, strategy games, politics

Name game. Tagged by Cham.

Rule: List all the names you were called by and the people who calls you that. Tag at least 5 members of your contacts and give a comment on their site for them to know they've been tagged.

1. Ena Aren
- It may sound weird but my Mom wanted this to be my name.

2. Ning-Ning/Ning
- What people at home call me. Family too.
Teacher Liv did too. Fleur, Willden, and Win usually use this.

3. Lauren
- I do not need to explain. 0.o

4. Lau
- When people got too lazy to say "Lauren."
Started during grade school. Grade school and high school people
call me this parin.

5. Lauwie
- What my kuya called me after teasing me to my crush.

6. Ate Large
- What I was called nung Grade 5-6 ata.

7. Laueeee
- Jes, Cham, and Vinch used to call me this. High school moments.

8. Auen
- Jessa gave me this name.

9. Lauieeee
- What my classmate, Mary Anne, calls me.

10. Ningy
- What Herwin calls me.

11. Tonks
- Started when I kept changing my Friendster name. Now some people in sch use it.

12. Elizabeth/Liz/Twin
- What Fleur calls me.

13. Angel
- The 'angel' of the 7 Chakas, grade school clique. A guy use to call me this too.

14. Laurie
- Sad to say, I don't like being called this. It stopped anyway. College classmates started
this. Asked them not to call me this anymore.

15. La
- Hahaha.

16. Soul Sistah
- Esteban

17. Slayer
- Kasi si Esteban yung bampira at si Denoga yung santo. ;)

18. Baby
- Because of Mommy Jes. :D

19. Lauwen
- Abegaelle Waagas can't pwonounce the lettew. ;D Kuya used to call me Lauwen.

20. Hapon
- Ewan ko. Napagtripan ako nito. Si Herwin at Charmaine ata may kasalanan nito.

21. Laurs
- Ang tamad kasi ni Phoebe. Phoebes kasi tawag ko sa kanya. :))

22. Fish
- Ewan ko kung ano problema ni Timo, Marcus, at ni Richmond.

23. Pez
- Spanish version ng Fish. Ewan ko ba. 0.o Marcus created this.

24. Tubby/Taba
- Marcus nanaman.

25. Miss Demented
- Sa 02 Jam to. Marcus and Richmond. Pag-trip nila.

26. Direk/Masamang bata/Tarantadong bata :))
- Si Nestor may kasalanan.

27. Mama Maria/Maria
- Willden. Nako. Kung ano maisipan.

28. Maria Lauren
- Ma. dapat. Pero napagtripan nung summer na mag-tawagan gamit ang buong first name.

29. Bitch
- What my cousin, Calai called me then.

30. Ning Ning-san
- Hapon ang mga tumawag niyan. Watashiwa, Ning Ning. Kaso.. Nihonggo wakarimasen.

31. Master
- Heheheh. By Patrick.

Okay. I'm tired... o.o

I tag:

1. Jessa
2. Fleur
3. Elaine
4. Lubel
5. Roxanne
6. Roseanne
7. Patrick
9. Anne
10. Mga nagbasa nito. :P

uhh..

we. are. NOT. tom-free. after. all. how. could. you. do. this. to. us. o.o

system failure. O_O

i still dont know when to take biostat. i might take art app or physics or lit102 this sem. woooooooooot. rawr. rrrawr.

*brainstorm*

sysss....teeemmmm.. shaaaatdaaaawwwwn... *deads*

life.

i was chatting with some people today. i realized that one doesn't have to be too cold or closed up or something, you know what i mean? it's like, i should be open to things. i should spend a bit of my time crawling out of my cold cave and saying hello to the world, opening my mind to new chances. for example, it's not everyday that you get a good conversation with someone. it's not everyday that you get breathless from laughing because of a silly chat or a simple joke.

it's nice to feel appreciated for the time you spent with not just someone, but with people. even if it's just an online chat.

it's nice to share and learn new things from unexpected people. i mean, people who aren't really your close buddies but made you feel like one for sometime. when it ends, it gives a good feeling.. but it's so much better when it doesn't end.

i guess i just miss my best friends.. that feeling of having people around you to keep you sane and insane at the same time. that feeling of assurance.. that they will never leave you. unfortunately, there are uncontrollable things in life. change is inevitable. you will have to learn to adjust, i guess. sigh.. even if it hurts.

woah. tae. continuous ba. if ever i got errors in this entry, forgive me. my eyes are going crazy. eew. o.o

third year, first semester

okay. i just wanna post this... 0.o i'm looking forward to medical bacteriology which is micr221. i just hope the professors are the ones im dreaming of. no bitches, please. my classmates and i need a break from professors like that. we had enough for a year, alright..
im thinking of tweaking some things. like changing a subject. i will have to cross out two things from my schedule. hmm.. how deadly are these subjects?
sometimes i hate the fact that our schedules are fixed. we're like high school students being spoon-fed eh. the advantage of having a fixed, prepared schedule is that we wont have problems signing up for each subject. additionally, the slot is surely yours. o.o well. come to think of it, why would we run out of subjects when we're the only ones who are having microbiology subjects. i mean, it's our major. i dunno about the other courses like chem and bio. but.. yun. o.o

oh well. it's time for dinner. can't seem to lift my ass and go downstairs. there's a lizard in my room. what if it goes somewhere else while i'm gone. make it go away. T.T

the letter game :)

Dear Lubel,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. (And by "our" I mean my romance with some guy of course.) I think I realized it when your dog ran in your camping car and I saw you sit at my father.

I'm sure you're open enough to understand that Extreme Home Makeover sucks.

I'm returning your memories from the military service to you, but I'll keep your left ear as a memory.
You should also know that I will never forget Oprah Winfrey imitations.

Go and drown yourself,
Lauren

___________________________________________________________________

Do it like this:
Dear (the person who last texted/smsed you).
I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___.

I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___.

I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory.
You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___.

___12___,
-Your name-

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm inlove with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit at
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs; Man
O.C.; Emotional
One Tree Hill; Open
Heroes; Frostbitten
Lost; High
House; Scarred
Simpsons; Cowardly
The news; Mongolic
Idol; Masochistic
Family Guy; Senile
Top Model; Middle-class

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family

what a girl wants

When she walks away from you mad
(follow her... )

When she stares at your mouth
(smile...then kiss her... )

When she pushes you or hits you
(hug her tight )

When she starts cursing at you
(say i love you )

When she's quiet
(hold her hand and ask what's wrong )

When she ignores you
(act cute so she'll notice you )

When she pulls away
(pull her back )

When you see her at her worst
(tell her you love her and she still looks amazing )

When you see her start crying
(hold her...ask her what's wrong )

When you see her walking
(approach her...give a kiss on the cheek )

When she's scared
(assure her you're not going to leave her )

When she lays her head on your shoulder
(tilt your head too...and hold her hand )

When she steals your favorite hat
(let her keep it )

When she teases you
(tease her back and make her laugh )

When she doesn't answer for a long time
(reassure her that everything is okay )

When she looks at you with doubt
(back yourself up without lying)

When she says that she loves you
(she really does more than you could understand )

When she grabs at your hands
(hold hers and play with her fingers )

When she bumps into you
(bump into her back and make her laugh )

When she tells you a secret
(keep it safe and untold )

When she looks at you in your eyes
(don't look away until she does )

When she misses you
(she's hurting inside )

When you break her heart
(the pain never really goes away )

When she says its over
(she still wants you to be hers )

When she reposts this
(she wants you to read it )

- Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.

- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

- When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up

- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

- Tease her and let her tease you back.

- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.

- Give her the world.

- Let her wear your clothes.

- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.

- Let her know she's important.

- Kiss her in the pouring rain.

- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is: "Whose ass am I kicking babe?"

m an incoming junior. a fiiiine electrifying incoming junior. yeah. wtf. haha. buzz off. people who have tried walking beside me in a mall would agree that i am electrifying. static hurts them 0_o

enough mong-kay biz.

---

my mom is back. she arrived 5:30 am last tuesday. she didn't go home straight and went somewhere else. where else? im sorry if im making it sound like it was bad.. but no. i understand anyway. i understand that she cant be where dad is. well. she doesnt want to see dad. she doesnt want dad to see her. why? she'll only be collecting insults and disgusting comments or whatevers from him. even if the 'children' are around. god. you dont know how much dad enjoys insulting her. you have no idea. you have no idea..

the stuff dad says about mom hurts. how he insults her. he fucking treats her like trash.

he has a woman anyway. some ugly woman with a pretty chest. what else would the man want from her? the woman gave birth by the way. yes, i have a half brother. this woman is dad's third, btw. mom's second but it's quite.. decent. legal because his first woman, the mom of my kuya, left him.

mom said she'd fetch me later.. her arrival's a surprise.. more of, not wanting dad to know that she's back. i made dad believe that mom will be back after summer. yes. critical things huh? i keep my mom's secret.. from my dad.

where did my mom come from? fremont, california. why? she wanted to work. when did she go there? january 23 of this year... and now. she. is. back.

i should be happy.. i know i should be. cause hell, she is happy. she was so excited of coming back here. but the problem is her husband. who is my dad. hah.

sigh.. talked to her on the phone yesterday. said that she'll fetch me from school. today, she will. that's what she said. i hope she does.

sorry, magulo ba ako magkuwento?

her friend told me so many things. si mommy, ang laki ng pinayat. she was comparing mom to Palito. my god.. i dunno what to think. i dunno what to say. she is effing thin and pale. and weak.

sometimes i wish i live separately.. with my mom.. since dad's for financial stuff lang, we dont really need him around right? what with his woman and his new baby boy. wow. is that where our money goes?

i learned to be thankful that i am in college and i am down to two years. i will do my best not to screw up and keep it to two years. those two years lang. i might kill myself if i take longer here. time's running.

sigh. anyway.. our house sa blumentritt was bought by a tawi-tawi chinese mayor. yes. dad, being so smart, gave all the furniture and left nothing to his mother... yes, my lola. indeed. my lola. so lola dear asked him nicely if she can have the bed. the bed which she shared with my lolo when he was alive. so what did she fucking get? TEARS.

yes. she ended up crying. lola.. ended up crying. she could have died asking for the bed. she explained that it has a sentimental value to her but dad refused.

this, he said to her: anong sentimental value??!! may sentimental value ka pang nalalaman!! putanginang matanda ka.

wala ako masabi. nangiyak nalang ako sa telepono.

right now im thinking that i am scared even though im not feeling scared. i know what my dad is capable of. he can kill his own mother.. he can even kill my mom. sigh. the friend said that dad almost hit lola's head with a fucking gun. uhm. im thinking that it's daddy's toy gun. he was looking for it last week. i guess it's what he uses to threaten people. but he does have a gun. there are bullets scattered at home.. there are some in my room, maybe. i found one.

i dont know what to do. sigh.

the friend said that she will bring me and my mom to lola's house at abad santos. i told her that people might see me and tell dad. the people there are fucking suck-ups. right now i am not prepared for another fight with dad like last time. he's my dad. the king of TNTs during his japan days. i actually picture him as some well-known criminal underground. people there respect him. or show respect to him.. because he has money? sigh. because he owned that big house and his friend is that mayor? because a mayor's son owes him money? because he has millions? because .. i dont know. i cant think.

because he's a barbaric fucking bastard. people are scared of him because they perfectly know what dad is capable of. his woman, btw? originally, he was courting the woman's younger sister. yes. young, fresh, everything a married man would desire? i dont know. but that sister knows how much of an ass dad is. so she didnt give my dad a chance. dad ends up with the elder sister. the woman with a *great* chest. the woman who wears sleeveless and short shorts like any other low class whore. ah yes, a whore. japayuki daw eh. she gave birth not too long ago.

sigh. the friend said that lola wants to talk to my mom this weekend. and that means that i should be around too.. lola said that she'll confess. she has so much to tell. guess she thinks it's time for her to spill..

it's not only her who knows stuff. the people there know. people there know lots.... except us. the.. i dunno. primary family?

lola's relatives living in bulacan know a lot about this shit. how dad treats her. sigh.. sinumpa na siya ng buong angkan ng lola mo sa garay. yeah. exact words yan ha. the friend saw the woman. she said the woman has a body, that's all. coca cola body. no more.

i have so much to face.. if dad finds out that i know.. i dunno. sometimes i wish he'd have a heart attack and just die.

i am sorry for wishing for my fathers's death. i wish mom had a stable job. so that i wont have to live with dad. i think my sisters will be okay with dad. im sure that they will be taken care of. im sure that they will be safe... but then again. i know what he is capable of. but i know that somewhere in his mind, he wont do anything that will hurt my sisters and my brother. my brother is very attached to me, by the way. he is the only reason why i abandoned my plan of moving to a dorm or condo near school. if i were rich, i would buy a condo unit at quezon avenue or north edsa. i will take my brother and my mother with me. my sisters will be fine with my dad. they will soon be in college anyway.

i dunno anymore..

this blog sucks. it's empty. it has nothing in it. it is just like ME. whoa.

okay. since my last entry was about clearance.. well. okay, nevermind. just so happens that clearance is on tuesday. i'm not worried or anything cause i saw my grades last wednesday! XD they were.. okay. i guess. not that high, not so low. lol.

=p

finally..

went to school yesterday to get my clearance report..

i was expecting a FAIL.. but there. i survived the first sem. it's really surprising. i really really think i was supposed to fail.

then went with roxanne.. we lined up to see our grades. lubel arrived.. roseanne followed.. took us 3 hours. 0.o

when i saw my grades.. well.. i found it amusing. i got a line of 1, then 2, then 3. funny. variety. haha.

well anyway.. a sem and three years to go.. IF circumstances allow. well.. basta. you know what i mean..

liz and alfred arrived. then left. then pizzahut.. then..

'..our hopes and expectations
black holes and revelations
our hopes and expectations
black holes and revelations

hold you in my arms
i just wanted to hold
you in my arms

far away
the ship is taking me far away
far away from the memories
of the people who care if I live or die

and I'll never let you go
if you promise not to fade away
never fade away..'

sometimes..

i wonder if i made the right decision..

uhm. so you want me to say it straight?

how come i am not enjoying college like my friends? they love their school. they're surrounded by good people. i dont get myself..

was i wrong in choosing my course? what's wrong with my school? what's wrong with me? how come i dont feel so happy.. what's wrong.. what's wrong.. what's wrong.. what's wrong.. tell me what's wrong.. is it school? is it my course? is it my classmates? does it have something to do with getting stuck in the past? am i too attached? tell me.. please.. i don't know anymore.. i don't know.. where am i supposed to be.. i mean, what am i supposed to be doing? is it because it's hard to adjust? or am i starting to withdraw again.. what's wrong.. tell me.. what's wrong.. this is too weird.. is it my grades? but.. why.. why do i feel so.. ..... can't comprehend..

tomorrow im off to starbucks katips. sigh. will see my friends back in montessori..

but geez, it won't solve anything!!!!!

oh god.. help me..

sometimes..

i wonder if i made the right decision..

uhm. so you want me to say it straight?

how come i am not enjoying college like my friends? they love their school. they're surrounded by good people. i dont get myself..

was i wrong in choosing my course? what's wrong with my school? what's wrong with me? how come i dont feel so happy.. what's wrong.. what's wrong.. what's wrong.. what's wrong.. tell me what's wrong.. is it school? is it my course? is it my classmates? does it have something to do with getting stuck in the past? am i too attached? tell me.. please.. i don't know anymore.. i don't know.. where am i supposed to be.. i mean, what am i supposed to be doing? is it because it's hard to adjust? or am i starting to withdraw again.. what's wrong.. tell me.. what's wrong.. this is too weird.. is it my grades? but.. why.. why do i feel so.. .....

tomorrow im off to starbucks katips. sigh. will see my friends back in montessori..

but geez, it won't solve anything!!!!!

oh god.. help me..