There are a few things going around the inside of my skull.
First things first. Here's..
1. I have no right to demand attention or affection from him. My current I mean, because I wasn't really a good girlfriend the past month.
2. Studies first because.. Well. Why do I need to explain?
3. Distractions shouldn't take all of me or else I'll go crazy.
4. I should learn to not to get attached.
5. Now that I'm having some quiet moment, I realized that my heart isn't that mature. Not physiologically but in a sense that some emotions are just so raw and immature that.. I dunno. I shouldn't jump in so easily because I realized that---
6. I am not sure of things.
7. But I'm actually quite sure that I am not inlove with Crazy Beautiful.
8. And I'm actually sure that I am unsure of my feelings for the current.
9. I'll try to be good to him.
10. I will be good to him.
11. I'll spend time with him to make him happy.
With regards to my happiness, well. I don't know. At this very moment I'm devoid of emotions in this stupid heart of mine. I just know it pumps blood, bow. There's this one person who told me that I should do what makes me happy because I deserve it in a sense that now, I realized to put myself first after all this.. time. Whatever, really. But it makes sense. It makes perfect sense.
The only thing is.. How to be happy? Because my road to happiness is quite a long one because my goals are directly proportional to time. Yes.
I was thinking of having a diary but then if this is how much I write, I'm going to get a severly calloused middle finger. How bad would that look if I flash it to someone repulsive? Haha. I'd end up being the repulsive one, maybe.
Okay. Perhaps I'll just be a good student now.. Let me add that up to my being a good girl. If possible. Boo life. Boo.
I'll try to be a good thesis groupmate too. Lol.
